Does love complement or Supplement our lives?

A quote on a sitcom I was watching recently got me thinking. One of the actresses, playing the role of a simple ambitious small town girl who is desolate and gasps...”All I needed was to fall in love with a person who completes me”.

I was stunned & befuddled.

Why do we need anything or anyone to complete us? Are we saying we aren’t good enough as we already are? Do we need things to make us feel special, other people to validate us and make us feel treasured or loved? Are single/divorced/widowed men or women leading incomplete and hopeless lives?

I think the issue is not this EXACT question itself. What the character in the episode and so many people I know ( sometimes myself) are really saying is: “We need certain pre-defined gratification for us to feel validated, important & arrived in our lives” The issue is the mindset that most people have around a variety of what they term as ‘well-defined routes to happiness’ which makes them think to themselves:

·         If I find a job that pays me X, I will feel complete/happy.

·         If I find a job with THAT company, I will feel complete/happy

·         If I find THAT kinda PERSON to marry & fall in love with, I will feel complete/happy

·         If I realize THAT DREAM, I will feel complete/happy.

 Truth is, at various points in my own life I myself have felt that the gratification of a certain goal will make or break my life. I know the gnawing pull, that uncomfortable sensation in the heart which comes from constantly fixating on a goal my mind has set itself on. But the truth also is, I also know the temporary & fleeting sense of happiness that lasts shorter than the life of a flower in full bloom , when we do meet our goals. It doesn't stay.

Its in those times that we wish we could achieve the fine balance of consistent  Self love & Ambition, a force that constantly invigorates our inner strength delving in self love along with the force that pushes us further ahead, edging us on to take newer flights, make newer dreamboards.

We are NOT our jobs, our dreams, our marriages, our relationships. They are a part of US. They ARE NOT Us. Don't define your life with the parameters of what you have achieved. The world judges you basis your achievements & that's a parameter designed to always make you feel lesser than who you really are.