Not settling for Less is not Unsettling for More.

To my dearest well wishers & aunties who think know what's best for me,

Marriage is very easy. It will effectively take me three meetings,  One to know if the guy can talk in an articulate fashion with little mistakes in grammar,  Two,  to figure out if the family is not known to have a bad history or rumour floating around, hopefully no divorces or the mother isn't a trouble maker,  and Third, the guy is fairly decently dressed, well behaved and shows consistency of behaviour. Background checks and paycheck information is a prelude to the meeting anyway.  And the deal is done. It's simple.

All I have to do then is pump up my excitement for the great wedding day.  I cannot even hide the excitement typing this,  but imagine shopping for that perfect white dress,  you've dreamt of since you were just a kid.  The crazy attention you will be receiving,  the parents going all gaga over you and the string of bachelorrette parties you will struggle to manage your calendar with.

And just like that the wedding day will be over.  The marriage has begun and life has suddenly become,  well,  plain again.
Suddenly settling for the sake of that exciting wedding day seems like a distant dream,  achieved,  realised and plainly pushed into a mental oblivion. The work has now begun. And the dream is now over.

Then there will be days.  Days of wanting to be understood and days when explaining is important.  Two different human beings under one roof is a lot of work and the effort to compromise and find a midpoint is anything but easy. Prayer will form the backbone of a relationship but devotees need to work on their own little forgivings and their own path to each other's hearts.  The motivation to do that isn't external but something that springs from the heart. That emotion is nothing but love and it suffices to have that in good measure for the joy of marriage to last beyond the day of obligated ritual.

It's easy to feel happy about settling,  becos that's how human beings are wired. We rationalise our every decision and portray and begin to feel waves of happiness as well. But the struggle has never been between finding a good relationship versus a bad one. It's never been about finding a good person to marry versus a not-so-good man.  The struggle and rarity of it,  is finding who is best for you versus who is good for you. Not many persevere. Many rationalise. But a few,  very few wait. To find the right one, not just a good one. Because ultimately,  it's love that pulls us through the really tough times. It's true love that helps us overcome a rainy day,  a difficult disease, a worrisome financial crisis.  Because there aren't many,  who will hug you with warmth and stay by your side when you are anything but perfect. Because there aren't many who light up your life,  make u feel just happy when they are around. Because there aren't many who give you that warm happy feeling in your heart when u think about them. And there,  in your heart you will be thankful each day for that person you chose.

And that's why you should never settle.